My 1st Mother’s Day!
Mother’s Day is on Sunday and it’s still pretty surreal to me that this holiday now applies to me in a whole new way, not only am I celebrating my mom and the awesome moms I know, but I AM a mom. How crazy is that! The first time Derek mentioned something about Mother’s Day in relation to me, I cried….not like a single tear but like ugly crying. It’s crazy how some of that emotion bubbles up at the most random times.
Anyway, I am about 2 months in and am in love with being a mother. It’s more rewarding in ways I never expected and I am amazed how quickly I have become a protective “mama bear”. While I’m still getting to know my Little Cupcake, I am slowly learning her cues which makes me happy. I want to be able to help her learn, grow, and explore the world. All while feeling loved and nurtured. Learning her various whimpers and noises and laughs allows me to do that. I am struggling with the constant feeling that I am not doing enough for her and should be doing better. I know this is only going to get worse when I go back to work. I know that others are struggling with this. How do you deal with it?
I am also constantly amazed at our Little Cupcake and how quickly she learns new things and how much she’s changed even in the short time we’ve had her. Her hair is growing, she is making more noises and is more and more curious about the world. I’m trying to document as much as I can because I know in what’s going to feel like an instant she’ll be getting a Learner’s permit!
I thought it would fun to also share some things that no one ever told me about being a mom (starting with the bad and moving to the awesome):
- People no longer have a verbal or physical filter- I’ve already had a couple of people say to me “well at least you don’t have to go through pregnancy”. Ummmm, well actually I would’ve LOVED to go through that experience as painful and hard as it would have been. However, that just wasn’t in the cards for us. While I am thankful for our Little Cupcake and will always love her as if I birthed her, I am still mourning the loss of having a child I carried inside me. It will be interesting to see what other crazy rude/insensitive things people say to me now that I’m a mom. :/ I am also amazed at how random strangers feels it’s ok to paw at her. I certainly don’t mind friends and family touching and cuddling her but I am still shocked when a random man at the grocery store comes up and touches her cheek or something. Excuse me, sir, would you do that to me, I don’t think so! Obviously, I don’t say that and I know people are just excited about an adorable baby but it’s also pretty shocking how that filter goes out the window.
- Not every moment is wonderful and beautiful- One of my physicians actually said this to me, but I remember thinking (stupidly!), oh I’ll be so thankful to have her and be a mom that I’ll cherish every moment. While I have learned to have a sense of humor about things, I’ve quickly learned that not every moment is “instagram worthy”. Holding a baby in the middle of the night for hours because that’s the only way she’ll sleep or changing shirts for the 4th time in a because you’re covered in spit-up again are just part of the job. Those moments weren’t my favorite, but most of it is still pretty great!
- Time passes faster than you could possibly have guessed- I’m not talking about days, weeks or months, but rather hours. I will get our Little Cupcake out of her crib in the morning and I swear it’s been maybe an hour and then Derek is home from work and it’s time to start dinner and then put her to bed. Where did the last 10 hours go?!?! It’s crazy!
- Life is lived between naps- People obviously told us how important a schedule is, but I didn’t fully appreciate how much of life is planned around what time her nap is. We’ve been so fortunate to have friends and family be gracious enough to let us choose the time for get togethers, and that time is always based on nap time (when possible).
- The small moments are the ones that will melt your heart- I am obviously excited for the first walk, first steps and all of that. But honestly, moments I will forever cherish are the small ones….seeing her smile and laugh just because she’s excited to see me when I get her out of her crib, or the way she tilts her head smiles as if to say “I know how cute I am”. And of course her falling asleep in my arms. 🙂
- People are so generous and want to celebrate- It could be that people that enter motherhood via a more “traditional” path expect this, but I’ve been blown away. Friends I haven’t seen in years, or friends of the family I’ve met once or twice have sent us gifts. When I first told our family and friends we were going to become parents, I was overcome by just how excited people were for us! Maybe it says something about my confidence, but I really wasn’t expecting that. Several friends offered to throw showers, others are always checking in and still saying how thrilled they are for us. I’m tearing up now just thinking about all of the support we’ve received from so many people. We are so lucky!
So that’s my list. What has surprised you about being a mom that no one told you?
Whether foster, adoptive, surrogate or anything else along that spectrum, I want to wish all of you a wonderful Mother’s Day!